decisions i need to make. Work I need to get done.
What course to take?
What uni?
Scholarships?
Rest or study?
Go for prom or no?
A Levels preparation Im so screwed and I dont know how to help myself. Which is the worse feeling in the world. You see people around you trying to help you too, but you're just stuck and helpless.
You question the person you are now. And everything that you believe in. What past experiences and lessons you draw from to make the decisions you face with today.
You question your character, your very being. What drives you. What doesn't.
What am I doing in this world?
Im sorry im vomitting this out here, but it feels shitass horrible to keep it all inside and not talk to anyone about it. Simply because nobody can help.
I need to sort things out urgently and find my place. Especially since the rest of my life hinges precariously on the a Levels. The next four months.
I hate when people ask me "How are you?"
I understand you're just asking.
But I just have no answer. saying "good" would be lying through my teeth. Saying "Not good" would mean I have to talk so much about everything bothering me. What should I say then?
What the hell is my superobjective this time?
Something has changed within me.
something is not the same.
I'm sick of playing by the rules of someone else's game.
sappy, I know.
